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    Monday, October 13, 2008

    25 reasons why I will miss the financial crisis (Update: If it ever gets over)

    It really seems that the $ 2546 Billion European bailout is the beginning of the end of the Financial Crisis and the subsequent rally across financial markets. I think I will miss the financial crisis. Really.

    1- It bummed Sarah Palin out of the front page.

    2- Bristol Palin too.

    3- Nancy Pelosi and House Republicans.

    4- I could get by without knowing who Gossip Girls were:
    Someone else: "Oh my god! Blake Lively!"
    Me: Man, the economy is soo fucked up, dudee!
    Someone else: I know. I feel so bad that I even brought up Gossip Girls. How shallow am I?

    5- Hank Paulson, apart from other things, having a perspective on 15 seconds of fame.

    6- The John McCain way to make you a star. Ask Chris Cox.

    7- You could not get by with thinking that Freddie Mac was a McDonald's burger.

    8- On Lehman Monday, I wanted to call Dad.
    "Dad, You were wrong!" Look at these bankers with boxes outside Lehman's midtown headquarters. They look silly. And that is how you wanted your son to look when you insisted on me going to business school!"

    9- Oil under $80 a barrell. Exactly the change folks in Ohio, Michigan and Main Street want.

    10- Random conversations at the bar that went something like this
    Me: The economy is so fucked upp, dudee. Can I buy you a drink?
    Blonde: (Looking puzzled) Yeah sure.
    Blonde: (After a few drinks) Intelligent guys really turn me on.

    11- The Socialists at NYU finally having an audience that stayed, even after the free pizza, coffee, soda, cookies and tons of other freebies ran out.

    12- Learning how to plot Iceland on a map.

    13- More so, imagining flustered British people learning how to plot Iceland on a map after losing their deposits with Icesave.

    14- "Oh bilmey! He had thinnngs on his mind!" The British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, finally found a reason for the bags underneath his eyes.

    15- But the man with bags underneath his eyes, Gordon Brown, would eventually become the European Superhero with a bailout plan that will become the status quo for more bailouts. So all you kids who don't make the cool cut, there is a happy ending.

    16- Finding a banker or a guy dressed like one literally at Taco Bell days ago.

    17- It just wasn't the Mets screwing up bad this year.

    18- Sad guys on the trading floor.

    19- Germany getting mad at Ireland over bank guarantees. Then Germany doing the same thing a few days later. Moral of the story: The Irish know their shit.

    20- A corollary to the above: Drinking can't be all that bad.

    21- Playboy and BusinessWeek together in the toilet magazine rack in a room shared by four guys between the ages 18- 20. And the BusinessWeek looking more used.

    22- Financial lingo having a poetic rhyme to it.

    "Holy Cow!"

    23- CIA guy: We know where the weapons of mass destruction are, chief.
    W.: Where?
    Cheney: They are not in Iraq? I knew it was Iran.
    John McCain: No stupid. They are in Spain.
    W.: Let the guy talk for a change.
    CIA guy: It's in the derivative market right in downtown Manhattan in a street called Wall Street.
    Cheney: How do you know?
    CIA guy: Warren Buffet in 2003 talked about it, and we now have intelligence for it. My credit card is good for shit.
    John McCain: I think I found my treasury secretary. I am going to make a press release.
    W.: I thought you had suspended your campaign.
    John McCain: My friends, Country First.

    24- Even though he was on the phone with Hank Paulson throughout the financial crisis and pleading Main Street's case, Barack Obama still finding time to go to the gym.

    25- And finally, coming home at 4 AM, switching Bloomberg on and know that you weren't the only one having a rough day. People do screw up. And so do we. Funnily enough, we were in it together. And that felt good.

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